'Ek Paheli Leela'
A; Musical-thriller
Director: Bobby Khan
Cast: Sunny Leone, Jay Bhanushali
Stars: 0.5 Stars

Story writer: I have a dhaasu story. A totally new concept. A lot of twists and turns. Past life regression, failed romance, villain killing the hero, revenge.


Screenplay writer: I have some totally new ideas for the location. Let's weave in some scenes in London-Vondon where bold women can be shown drunk and enjoying themselves on the streets, then Bombay where we throw in a scene near Marine Drive and for exotica, go to Rajasthan and show fake palaces and a lot of extras wearing colourful ghagras and white turbans, and just randomly sitting or standing around.



Dialogue writer: Let's throw in some whistle-worthy, “gritty and deep” dialogues like 'glamour industry me short cut short skirt se hoti hai...' and let's get the bindaas heroine, who smokes and drinks three cans of beer at one go, saying it blatantly.

Lyricist: Let's have some outrageously bindaas contemporary lyrics like 'Teri glamorous ankhiyaan...', never mind if it makes no sense.

Music director: Ohh and lets make it all unpredictable and make a Rajasthani folk singer sing 'teri glamorous ankhiyaan'. Also while we are at it, why not reproduce the hugely popular songs 'Dholi Taro...' and the much revered 'Kesariya Balma...' and kill them with our twisted bursts of creativity?

Director: Let's just take ourselves so seriously and go about pretending as if our intention was to come out with an absolutely intense drama. So let's put in some mumbo jumbo about claustrophobia, naadi shastra and limboo mirchi logic. But never for a moment we should forget that our actual concentration would be on Sunny Leone's cleavage and how to make best use of this ex-adult film actor in our 'sex scenes'.

Cinematographer: Oh yes, I will make sure that I get into all the nooks and crannies of her body with utmost precision.

Casting director: Let's assemble some male actors, who go about trying so hard to look macho and powerful that they totally forget to act.



Anyway, we don't have to worry about their acting skills because it's a Sunny Leone film, so no one will be looking at them anyway.

Costume designer: I promise not to forget even for a moment why Sunny was cast in this film and will make sure her clothes never go beyond her ample thighs, no matter which set-up or location she is in.

Chorus: Hurrah! We have a masterpiece. A semi-porn rubbish masquerading as an intense romantic story.

 

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