New York: Micky Wade said that an affair is thought to be the most common insurmountable problem in a marriage, but it is more often a symptom of underlying issues in the relationship, media reported.

The marital problems that lead to divorce are:

One problem is that a partner feels like the parent of the other because he or she believes the other is immature, irresponsible, untrustworthy or selfish, the marital dynamics eventually crumbles and destroys intimacy and sexual attraction for both people.

Domestic abuse is the most extreme version of this inability to be partners.

Secondly, when marital problems are not resolved to the satisfaction of the couple, resentment builds, which erodes relationship of any kind.

Bickering is a symptom of resentment and is toxic, needing to be right makes communication impossible and puts the other partner on the defensive.

Thirdly, everyone has a degree of narcissism, which becomes a problem when one or both partners are unable to empathize with and support the other.

If one partner carries the financial weight and the other is taking care of children at home, there may be no true understanding of the other’s contribution and both think the other has it easier. If this continues, neither person feels supported or understood. It can become a continuous dynamic that will kill intimacy and eventually, the relationship.

Fourthly, when a partner has a problem with addiction, the main focus of the addict is obtaining and consuming drug of their choice - rather than on the marriage and family.

A person could appear quite successful to others outside the home but privately, an addict calms feelings of anxiety, emotional pain, dread, shame or PTSD with drugs, alcohol or a compulsive behavior, masking the need for mature problem-solving and the issues remain unresolved.


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